Uncyclopedia

I just discovered Uncyclopedia (while doing research for a comic I'm writing).

Uncyclopedia calls itself "the content-free encyclopedia anyone can edit." I can't wait til it starts turning up in research papers by clueless students.

From the entry on Canada:

The vast majority of Canadians are actually invincible superheroes, invested with a variety of superpowers ranging from looking at TV or computer screens for entire weeks in winter to understanding the rules of hockey using telepathy and superhuman intelligence. For this reason, Canadians don't need any form of government or even a military, since every single guy next door can either stop bullets in mid-air or cut through buildings using energy blast from their eyes, but usually they end up playing video games on their computers most of the time since no nation is crazy enough to attack such an intimidating and powerful country as Canada.

Putting your money where your mouth is -- but not where your wheels are.

I was at a small-town farmer's market on a recent Saturday. It takes place in the local hockey rink, and features a mix of artisans with sea-glass jewellery, market gardeners with organic produce, fair trade coffee, and pleas for local causes. The crowd was mostly locals, with a sprinkling of tourists. Many of the tourists' cars sported Obama bumper stickers.

Near the entrance to the market, one bumper sticker caught my eye: "I buy local first."

The sticker was on a Japanese car.

Obviously, it is completely pointless to try and keep them out of our bird feeders

How Canadian

Looking through the search logs for this blog, I note that a visitor arrived here after doing the following Google search:

Does Islam allow hockey pools

That paints such a great Canadian multicultural picture. I love it.

Interestingly, this blog ranks number one for that search -- though I can't say it's one of the ones I optimized for.

Etch A Sketch clock

NYC engineer Angela Yuan built this clock. Every minute it erases itself and draws the new time. A perfect marriage of lo and hi tech.

Scott Bateman on Tom Cruise

Scott Bateman offers some pretty funny commentary on the creepy Tom Cruise Scientology video.



This is not your Aunt Gertrude's animation. (Read the post below, if you don't know what I'm talking about.)

Fast food photos

Even in my vegetarian days, those fast-food billboards of Big Macs and other, er, tasty treats occasionally looked appealing. I guess it had been so long since I'd eaten one that I'd forgotten how inevitably disappointing they are.

Here's a handy corrective: A page showing advertising photos versus real photos of a wide array of fast food delights. Yuck.

For the wee metalheads

Here is a very fun gift I received. The Heavy Metal Fun Time Activity Book, by Aye Jay (who is also the force behind the Gangsta Rap Coloring Book).

Activities include heavy metal sudoku (hint: think the number 6), mazes (in one you help Ozzy get to Ozzfest and in the other you help Spinal Tap navigate the backstage area), and, of course, colouring. Colouring GWAR is probably more entertaining than colouring Rob Halford.

Here is a peek inside, at one of the pages:

The back cover bears a quote from the evil dwarf himself, Ronnie James Dio: "At last, an activity [book] for Metal Heads. From Slipknot to Spinal Tap, the brain teasers are all there. Use some magic and the answers are sure to come."

Best error message yet

A piece of software on my computer just came up with this:

Test cannot be started because it already does not exist.

What would Darth Vader say?

Nothin' like a couple of Stormtroopers in Love.

Metal quilts

Yes, you read that right. Quilter Boo Davis creates "evil rock quilts" which you can see over at Quiltsryche.

Here's her description of one of the quilts:

Sweet miracle of Mick Mars! Wouldn't little Les Paul Mars, the offspring of Mötley Crüe's stoic guitarist, have been right at home under this darlingly demonic baby blanket? "Instrumental" features "God bless the children of the beast" silkscreened in Gothic lettering on a variation of a traditional "housetop" design. Be strong, and shout at the devil!

Tip o' the hat to Steve McCullough, who is listening to his old metal collection again.

Kiss vs Planet of the Apes

Some very fun artwork here for "the greatest film/book/comic never (yet) made!" The idea comes from Mike Drake of Strange Adventures.

I hope someone is working on a development deal.

Bow-wow-wow

I was in St. John's for work this week, and stopped in at the Candy Bouquet. (Actually, stopping in at the Candy Bouquet was part of the job -- it's a long story.)

I can now report that if you are ever in St. John's and want candy, there is probably no person nicer than Jackie Rice of the Candy Bouquet to help you find what you want -- or what you didn't even know you wanted. And she manages to say "Have a sweet day" in a way that's genuinely sweet, and doesn't make you cringe.

Best writer site I've seen in a long time

Writer Miranda July plugs her new book with a website she made using dry erase marker, kitchen appliances, and a camera.

She tells us about her book, too



The site is brilliant, and it is here.

Less depressing news from an engineering school

Engineering students at the University of California at Santa Cruz create a three-storey depiction of Donkey Kong using 14,000 Post-it notes.



More here.