Iraq looting

One of the wonderful things about the slow death of the newspaper firewall era (in which you needed a subscription to access "premium content") is that Robert Fisk's reporting for the Independent is now freely available.

Remember the orgy of looting that broke out after the US invasion of Iraq? How there were troops protecting the Ministry of Oil and little else? (There is an excellent chapter on this whole episode in Rajiv Chandrasekaran's book Imperial Life in the Emerald City.)

Well, the looting never stopped. In fact, the looters just took over. Read Fisk and weep.

Gone Surfin' two-fer

I never got around to posting last month's Gone Surfin' web column, so here it is, together with the current one.

How to Do It is about productivity and life hacking web sites, and Protect Your Computer for Free is, well, kind of obvious. I still can't believe anyone is using those horrible Symantec anti-virus products. Both files are pdfs.

Excerpt from How to Do It:

It's true that the Internet can be a huge time-suck. But it's also home to many sites that can help you meet your goals, work more efficiently and solve problems. I'm not talking about nifty tech tools, but good, old-fashioned tips and advice – many of them related to clearing through the electronic clutter that's supposed to help make life easier but can actually clog it up instead.

“Life hacks” is a newish term that's cropped up to describe tips that make your life simpler. The sites in this month's column include life hacks for everything from how to most effectively pack for a trip, to how to train yourself to wake up earlier.

Excerpt from Protect Your Computer For Free:

I have been blessed with 15 or so years of hassle-free computing. I don't spend hours and hours securing my Windows PC, and I don't spend a lot of money. If you are not especially computer literate, security may seem like too much trouble. But it's really not all that hard, and it's worth it – an unprotected PC connected directly to the Internet can be infected within minutes.

(If you are a Mac or Linux user, you may go ahead and feel smug at this point.)

The only thing I'm worried about is that this column will now jinx me.

Word count

A writer I know once told me the best lesson he'd ever learned about making a career as a freelancer: you don't have to be an exceptionally good writer. All you have to do is deliver clean copy, to the word count, on time.

It's a good lesson. I was reminded of it again yesterday. I filed a story for a national magazine earlier in the week. The assignment said "1,000 words, max." When they specify max, I figure you have to take it pretty seriously. Then again, there's always the 10% wiggle-room rule.

I filed 1,070 words.

The editor called two days later. My story is one of a series, all the same length. The editor thanked me for sticking to the word count -- which is basically being thanked for doing your job properly. The next shortest piece came in at 1,200 words. The longest was about 1,800.

Clean copy, to the word count, on time.

Takes one to know one department

Former Bush speechwriter David Frum (the man apparently responsible for the words "Axis of" in the phrase "Axis of Evil") talking about Ervand Abrahamian, co-author of the book Inventing the Axis of Evil on CBC Radio's The Current:

"Unfortunately, you can find apologists for anything."

He should know.

PC pink

My kids -- like kids across Nova Scotia -- are wearing pink to school today.

The reason? Two Grade 12 students from a rural high school who were upset about a Grade 9 boy being picked on, teased and threatened for wearing a pink shirt. The older guys went out and bought dozens of pink tank tops and t-shirts and handed them out at school in a show of solidarity. Other kids across the province picked up on the idea, and today thousands of them will be wearing pink clothes to school in a show of anti-bullying solidarity.

What's my beef? (You knew there had to be one.) It's with the media coverage. Every story I've read or heard says that the unidentified boys who teased the kid who wore pink that first day called him "a homosexual."

Now, in most contexts, it's not nice to use the words queer and fag in print. But I am pretty sure those bully boys did not say "You're wearing pink -- you're such a homosexual." In this context, using the bland word homosexual takes away from the bullying act itself. It makes it seem more benign. I understand we don't have a direct quote, but surely someone told a reporter something like, "They were calling him a fag."

Just because we don't use some words because they are pejorative or hurtful doesn't mean we should never use them at all. We may not like the words precisely because they are so powerful. Sometimes, that power is something writers should take advantage of, in order to get a story across as accurately as possible.

Real live CD shopping

After being given a gift card, I headed down to HMV for the first time in about a year. I've been buying my music digitally for a while, so it felt weird to walk into an actual store lined with CDs and DVDs -- especially since I always preferred the now-defunct Sam the Record Man to HMV anyway.

Surprises: First, that HMV seems to be moving away from their ridiculous policy of selling 2 for $25 or 2 for $30 instead of just sticking a reasonable price on each disc. Second, that the discount bin was full of great deals on good music, and not just tired crap that would be overpriced at 5 bucks (though there was a fair bit of Bryan Adams in there). Third, how it makes no sense whatsoever to buy some things in CD form when you compare to the price of buying online. I saw Rubber Factory by the Black Keys, which I can buy at eMusic for about $3, retailing at $22.99. Yeah, I'm going to buy that.

For $60, I walked out with CDs by Devil Driver, The Roots, Soundgarden, Black Label Society, Tom Petty and Velvet Revolver. Not bad.

Is poison bad for you too?

There is a story in the Halifax Chronicle-Herald this morning that's not silly -- it's about the pollutants that get spewed into the atmosphere when artillery is fired.

But the headline is a classic:

Beware: Artillery may be harmful

For the wee metalheads

Here is a very fun gift I received. The Heavy Metal Fun Time Activity Book, by Aye Jay (who is also the force behind the Gangsta Rap Coloring Book).

Activities include heavy metal sudoku (hint: think the number 6), mazes (in one you help Ozzy get to Ozzfest and in the other you help Spinal Tap navigate the backstage area), and, of course, colouring. Colouring GWAR is probably more entertaining than colouring Rob Halford.

Here is a peek inside, at one of the pages:

The back cover bears a quote from the evil dwarf himself, Ronnie James Dio: "At last, an activity [book] for Metal Heads. From Slipknot to Spinal Tap, the brain teasers are all there. Use some magic and the answers are sure to come."

Best error message yet

A piece of software on my computer just came up with this:

Test cannot be started because it already does not exist.

Prairie Giant

The Tommy Douglas mini-series Prairie Giant, which the CBC pulled from circulation (and which I wrote about here) is going to be broadcast by Vision TV, CBC News reports.

What I found interesting in the story is this sentence:

Starring stage actor Michael Therriault as the title character, Prairie Giant won awards and received praise from a number of critics. However, historians panned it for its depiction of former Saskatchewan premier Jimmy Gardiner, a Liberal. (Emphasis added.)

Historians? As I understand it, there was only one historian who panned it -- and he or she was hired by the CBC and published his or her criticisms in an anonymous report.

The price of being an early adopter

Apple has dropped the price of the iPhone by $200. People who bought it when they first came out are upset. Apple is apologizing and offering them a $100 credit (what can you buy at an Apple store for $100?).

From the CBC new website:

The apology and rebate came after Jobs said he received hundreds of letters from customers upset at having purchased the mobile device for $599 US only to see the price drop to $399 US this week.

What are these doofuses who complained thinking? You want to be the first to buy a hot product, you pay top dollar. Maybe I should get my dad after the folks who sold him an $800 VCR in the early 80s.

Mulroney's attack on Trudeau

Just about what one would expect from this character. Nothing like attacking a dead opponent who was so much more eloquent than you ever were.

When I first saw the headline, I thought, I hope he's attacking Justin, who at least will be able to answer back.

Urban legends and arguments

Updated:
Apparently, the Globe editor responsible says the writer claims the urban legend originated with a story of hers. I would have thought she would have laid claim to it publicly sooner.



Now this is embarrassing. Today's Toronto Globe and Mail's reader-submitted Facts & Arguments essay is by a teacher who says she asked students to write a story co-operatively. In one team, the male and female students wrote in radically different styles.

The essay was written by Sharon Melnicer, of Manitoba.

From the story, as reprinted in the Globe:

(First paragraph by Marla) "At first, Betty couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favourite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Bruce, who once said, in happier times, that he also adored chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Bruce. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the question. She'd switch to chai."

Trouble is, the story is an urban legend. From the Snopes urban legends site:

At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The camomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked camomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So camomile was out of the question.

The Globe piece goes on and on like this, almost word for word.

Barbara Mikkelson of Snopes concludes:

"The Writing Assignment" first appeared on the Internet in February 1997, when it popped up in the newsgroup rec.humor, having gotten there from a joke list. Though it's passed around as a "true story," we should simply accept it for what it is — a wonderful piece of creative writing.

There's gonna be a whole lot of embarrassment in them pages come tomorrow.

Tip o' the hat to my eagle-eyed writing colleague Mark Kearney for spotting this.