This pause brought to you by...

I haven't disappeared. Just back from a holiday -- far from any computers -- and planning to stay away from them for the long weekend too. Our regular programming will resume in a few days.

Montreal round-up

Things I learned on a recent trip to Montreal:

• Xavier Caféine's "Montréal (Cette Ville)" (Chorus: "Cette ville va me rendre fou / Cette ville va me rendre complètement fou") is the perfect accompaniment to have when you drive downtown from the airport, having negotiated the Dorval circle, cars whipping from one lane to the other all around you.
• I have been away from the city long enough to have forgotten the frequencies of all the radio stations I used to listen to.
• The few mini-malls near my house that I consider to be horrendous sprawl would barely qualify as one block in Laval.
• Signage continues to be up to its usual standards. Drop your rental car off at the airport, follow the crosswalk to the terminal, and before you get there you're confronted with a concrete barrier and two signs, one for international arrivals pointing left, and one for domestic arrivals pointing right. Departures anyone?
• Ted Tevan notwithstanding, the meals at Chenoy's seem a lot less impressive than they did when I was a teenager.
• The Reluctants have some great new songs, and the new album they're recording should be a good one.
  

What would Darth Vader say?

Nothin' like a couple of Stormtroopers in Love.

Is it better to be racist than homophobic?

Now here's a guy who deserves to be re-elected:

(Tampa, Florida) State Rep. Bob Allen (R), a longtime foe of LGBT rights in Florida, has a bizarre excuse for being charged with offering a male cop $20 for oral sex in a washroom at a park.

He was busted last month in a sting at Veteran's Memorial Park in Titusville, Florida. (story)

In taped statements made by Allen to police following his arrest and released by the force Allen admits to soliciting the male officer but claims that it was the result of being nervous by the high number of black men in the park.

More weird criminals

First the fake reflexologist -- the guy who massaged women's feet under false pretenses. Now this guy. From the Halifax Chronicle-Herald:

Butt-grabbing biker strikes eighth time

By DAN ARSENAULT Crime Reporter | 5:32 AM

The bike-riding butt-grabber of Halifax appears to have struck for an eighth time.

Halifax Regional Police were called just after midnight Wednesday about a man in his 20s who pedalled up to a 35-year-old woman walking in the area of Young and Dublin streets, said something to her and then grabbed her buttocks before riding off.

Police say it’s the eighth time a woman has been sexually assaulted this way since May 15.

Create your own Facebook news story

How long, do you think, before newspapers realize there are better things to do than pay writers to troll through Facebook looking for interesting groups? Is there anything less useful than a Facebook group? All you have to do is click to join. Sure, that means there is now a list of people with a common interest, and you can send emails to them to try to harness real-world protest. But does anyone really think this is very effective?

Here is your typical Facebook news story:

1) Headline: Facebook group formed to protest/publicize/decry/celebrate XYZ.
2) People upset about XYZ have formed a group on Facebook.
3) The group has X number of members.
4) The founder of the group says he/she created it in order to raise awareness etc.
5) A spokesperson for someone else said that the group would not affect their decision.

There. Now you can be a cutting-edge tech reporter too.

Or am I just bitter because the one and only Facebook group I created is tiny and has gotten no media coverage? (Join up! It's called "You're Gone! A Ted Tevan Group" and it took me all of a couple of clicks to create.)

IKEA gets instructions right

I have been putting together a bunch of IKEA furniture. One thing that truly impresses me is how clear the directions are -- and all with no words. The instructions actually seem to me to be closer in form to comics than anything else.

Bad directions can be incredibly frustrating. Take the LED lantern we bought -- the one that has only one switch "On/Off" but still manages, in its broken English and sentence fragments to be utterly confusing. (Does it mean you should store it fully charged? Or is it warning you that if you store it fully charged it will drain over time?).

IKEA on the other hand, offers clear drawings that even someone like me -- not especially technically competent and generally preferring words to pictures -- can follow. Last night I assembled the futon couch. The instructions contained one word: "Click." But it all went together pretty smoothly.

Other companies should be taking lessons from these guys.