The Facebook photo

If you have a Facebook account, you'll probably notice that the profile pics people choose fall into a couple of broad categories.

Here's a quick field guide:

• What's wrong with your shoulders: This is the photo people take of themselves, by holding the camera out in front of them. You can't see their arms, but it seems there is something weird about the shoulders -- until you realize they're like that because the arms aren't hanging down but are held out in front of the body instead.
  
• Half a face: Extreme close-ups. There's half a face, part of the face, the face at a weird angle. Not good if you have zits, I suppose. Then again, what else is Photoshop for?
  
• On the beach: Maybe it's because I live in Atlantic Canada. People shot from the middle distance. Another variation: on holiday, or just relaxing and looking like you're on holiday.
• Copyright infringement: Photos of cartoon characters (The Flintsones), famous people (Ozzy Osbourne, Zakk Wylde) and so on.
• With the kids: Young parents, mostly. I am cool and I have kids too!
• The pet: Close-up of a cat or dog's face. Is it your cat? Your dog? Are you too closely identified with your animals? Or are you being savvy about your privacy?
• The glamour shot: I am so sexy!
• The self-conscious: A bad photo. Generally comes with comments from the profile's owner about how bad the photo is.
• The illustration: For the artistes among us.
  

Then, of course, there are the people who change their photos every day. Or several times a day. Many of them, it seems, writers. Procrastination anyone?